COURSTEY MIRROR MUMBAI APRIL 17

ASK THE SEXPERT
DR MAHINDER WATSA

1 I’m a 44-year-old man and my wife is 39 years old. Neither of us have any major medical conditions. However, since my wife terminated two pregnancies, she has been refusing to have penetrative sex, even on safe days. As a result, our frequency has dropped to once a month or less. She has fears of getting pregnant again and has refused a tubectomy (we consulted a gynecologist). Initially I was fine with a vasectomy and then I changed my mind after reading about its psychological effects later in life. She orgasms and I assist her. She encourages me to satisfy myself, but I do not like to do it. She is super scared during penetrative sex. But having nearly no sex has led to tremendous frustration for me and I am wondering why I should stay in a sexless marriage. She is not agreeable to scheduling sex. I do understand sex needs to happen when both partners are ready but the best years to have enjoyable sex are being wasted. Please help.

It will be difficult to change her mind. I suggest you relook at the possibility of a vasectomy. Discuss with the doctor whether you would suffer any psychological effect. This does not normally occur.

2 I am an 18-year-old man. My penis gets curved when I get an erection. How can I address this issue?

Visit an andrologist to identify the cause of the curvature. Usually, if the curve is less than 30 degrees, sexual intercourse is possible and therefore nothing needs to be done.